Last updated on September 11th, 2023 at 11:18 am Wounds, Triggers (and Attachment Needs) The following short 90-second video is one of my favorites of those I’ve done recently – because it clearly outlines why we get upset and what we must understand to reduce conflict. It addresses one of the keys to fixing a [...]read moreSecure Attachment – How to Create It – WeConcile
Difficulty with Vulnerable Feelings What do you do when you are disappointed with your partner? Specifically, what we do when we are disappointed in our partners reveals our difficulties with our vulnerable feelings. These include feeling hurt, abandoned, sad, guilty, ashamed, and fragile. What we do (our behavior) when we are disappointed, hurt, or feel [...]read moreManaging Disappointment In A Relationship – WeConcile
In the latest episode of the “Roadmap to Secure Love” podcast, hosts Kim and I delve into the profound impact of secure attachment memories on our ability to navigate life’s challenges today. Understanding Secure Attachment Attachment theory provides a framework for understanding the nature of our relationships with others. It suggests that the emotional bonds [...]read moreBuild a Secure Attachment from the Inside Out
In relationships, it is not the missteps that dictate the rhythm of the partnership, but how partners recover from those missteps. Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but the challenge lies in navigating these conflicts to strengthen, rather than weaken, the bond. On The Roadmap to Secure Love’s latest podcast episode, “Rupture to [...]read more5 Steps to Effective Attachment Apologies
This episode of The Roadmap to Secure Love provides a comprehensive overview of how understanding attachment styles can greatly enhance relationship dynamics and personal growth. In this post, I outline the challenges faced when applying attachment theory and the significant takeaways that can help anyone improve their interpersonal connections. Attachment Theory Explained Attachment theory is [...]read moreManaging Conflict and Intimacy Through Attachment Theory
In the intricate dance of romantic relationships, an intriguing yet often distressing pattern emerges – the “Blame Game” dynamic. This complex interplay involves partners striving for connection and validation through confrontational tactics rather than embracing vulnerability. The question that inevitably arises is: What prompts individuals to resort to such seemingly counter-connecting behaviors? The answer lies [...]read moreThe Blame Game: Attachment Dynamics in Conflict
A unique pattern emerges when partners grapple with emotional avoidance – a strategy characterized by sidestepping confronting feelings or conflicts directly. This avoidance, sometimes cloaked beneath a veneer of tranquility, can inadvertently create a gulf of distance between partners, both on a physical and emotional level. Allow me to introduce Sarah and Steven, a heterosexual [...]read moreThe Avoid-Avoid Dance: Overcoming Attachment Fears
In the intricate web of human relationships, delving into the attachment bonds that weave our interactions is key to unlocking secure relationships. Within emotionally focused couples therapy, we often encounter reoccurring attachment cycles—a pattern that can act as a virus, infecting the emotional connection within a relationship and giving rise to feelings of disconnection and [...]read moreRelationship Disconnection: Unraveling the Attachment Cycle
“Love makes us who we are, and who we can become.” – A General Theory of Love Take a moment to reflect: How do you typically respond when feelings of insecurity or unfulfillment arise in your relationship? Do you withdraw, resort to criticism and control, or seek connection through gentleness and vulnerability? When your partner [...]read moreThe Attachment System: Creating Secure Bonds