Sara Evans Gets Candid on Reconciling With Husband Jay Barker, Dropping Out of ‘DWTS’ (Exclusive)
It may seem like Sara Evans just started a new chapter with husband Jay Barker after sharing on the premiere episode of her brand-new podcast, Diving in Deep With Sara Evans, that they reconciled following his 2022 arrest. But in a wide-ranging interview with ET, the country crooner, 53, shared how long ago they actually reconciled (two years, to be exact), why she waited so long to share the news, and how her family feels about it all.
ET’s Rachel Smith traveled to Evans’ home in Nashville, Tennessee, where the “Born to Fly” singer opened up about when exactly the couple realized they had marital problems and why it took so long to address them.
“We we had problems that needed to be fixed and dealt with. And I think one of the reasons that it took 13 years to really and fully address the problems head-on is because, you know, [we were] maturing artists,” Evans explains. “He has four kids and I have three kids and we raised them all from the time we got married when they were so young. My two daughters don’t even remember our wedding.”
From 1993 to 2007, Evans was married to Craig Schelske, the father of her three children — son Avery, 24, and daughters, Olivia, 21, and Audrey, 19. Evans met Barker in 2007 and says that he helped raise her kids. They tied the knot a year later, and life came at them fast.
“Just the chaos of life. They were all in sports. I was touring. [Jay] had a radio show. Just busy, busy, busy, busy. And it took us probably until the pandemic to realize [it] because everything stopped.”
Amid the isolation from the rest of the world, Evans says she found herself sitting there with Barker and their family. With no external outlets they could turn to to let off some steam, they soon reached a boiling point. The first sign there was trouble came in 2021 when Evans filed for divorce. And no blow-up, of which Evans said there were many but hidden from their children, got more scrutiny than the 2022 altercation outside a house party that led to Barker’s arrest. Evans, however, notes that is now water under the bridge amid couples counseling and an introspectiveness that’s allowed them to come out stronger.
“I think that’s when we both started realizing that our marriage needs some help. And so we did that, and we’re now two years into being back together, madly in love,” Evans says. “So, it’s kind of new news to people, [except] for us.”
Amid their rocky marriage, Evans says giving up was never an option — not even when she filed for divorce.
“I wasn’t done,” she says. “I was never done.”
“It was more of a, you know, you make decisions when you’re caught up in the moment and I instantly regretted it,” Evans admits. “Never wanted to divorce Jay because he’s my best friend. He’s my person. He’s a wonderful man, and we’re madly in love. And we’ve always had like — the kids will say this is [too much information] — but we’ve just always had such great romance and passion. So, I knew that this [was] not going to be the end. It’s going to be a new beginning and that’s exactly what it is.”
As for why it took her so long to share the reconciliation news, Evans says her love story’s so personal “and I never signed up to be like [The] Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.”
“That’s not what I’m doing. I’m not doing a reality show,” she adds. “So, I tried to find a good balance between not disrespecting my fans by not sharing a little bit … but at the same time, it’s not something that I have to talk about.”
As far as how her family feels about the reconciliation, Evans says “everybody is so happy because our family is back together.”
“It would have been so sad if we didn’t reconcile and we didn’t stay together because we’ve had 15 years together,” she says. “With all these kids and all these memories and, you know, forgiveness is a big thing with me. I like to be forgiven when I mess up and I also believe very strongly in forgiving people… there’s a bliss again and I just kind of am floating through life and again, two years of hard work.”
And for the record, sharing the reconciliation on her podcast wasn’t, by any means, a sense of relief to be able to share her story on her terms. It was far from it actually.
“It was terrible. I didn’t want the backlash,” she admits. “I didn’t want to embarrass any of our family or any of our kids.”
She adds, “It was a very, very difficult decision and really hard one to record. And then anticipating it being released and waiting for the backlash, I probably had many fainting spells because I was like, ‘Oh my God. I’m so dreading this.’ But it’s out. We did it and now I want the podcast to be a lot more positive, but still intriguing and interesting.”
There’s no doubt it’ll be Intriguing and interesting, with guests like Reba McEntire, Martina McBride and Dennis Quaid. Some artists on her podcast wishlist include Morgan Wallen, Chris Stapleton and Keith Urban.
And among the topics she’s discussing on the podcast is insight about her Dancing With the Stars exit in 2006 amid her divorce from Schelske. At the time, Evans says she had so much on her plate — touring, her kids, the dancing competition — that dealing with a divorce only compounded her participation.
“I was the only mom on the show. I had just had a baby, the girls are only 19 months apart, so I had two in diapers, Avery was 5,” says Evans of her children. “And I was going through separation and it was unbelievably hard because I still had shows that I had committed to.”
Evans recalled how hectic things were back then for her — from filming the show to jumping on a tour bus and flying to a city for a show and flying back for the ABC series. Not to mention rehearsing new routines, all while still trying to be a young mother and managing the guilt of being away from her kids for six hours at a time because of rehearsals. It was a delicate balance that was aggravated by a looming divorce.
Had life, perhaps, dealt her a different set of cards, Evans says she may have even gone on to win season 3 of DWTS.
“I think I would have won,” she says. “I think I would have won because — now that it’s all over we can say this — but my manager had known somebody that was on the inside tallying the votes. He didn’t tell anybody because she could’ve gotten in trouble. But, basically, she said, ‘She’s gonna win. I mean, she’s getting all the votes. Maybe twice the amount of votes that all the other people are getting.'”
Dallas Cowboys great Emmitt Smith and partner Cheryl Burke won season 3.
In any event, Evans says that during that turbulent time a close friend reached out to her: Faith Hill. At that time, Evans recalled calling her brother to come help her leave her now-ex-husband. And amid the separation, Evans says her phone was blowing up with texts and phone calls from her estranged husband’s family. The messages were so overwhelming that Evans became so upset that her brother took the phone away from her. And while in his possession, Evans says her brother got a call from Hill.
“He took my phone and was protecting me from everybody that was calling and texting but Faith Hill did call,” Evans recalls. “And she said, ‘I just want to check on Sarah,’ and my brother is so funny. He kept talking about how, ‘I just talked to Faith Hill on the phone.'”
“But yes, Faith Hill checked in on Evans during her most trying times,” she adds.
“Wasn’t that sweet?” Evans said. “It’s very, very kind [of her].”
Now that she’s shared her rekindled love, Evans is ready to soon share her new album, Unbroke, which drops June 7. The album features her poignant new single, “Pride,” her first original song since 2017. The single, one of 11 tracks in Unbroke, details struggles in her marriage.
Evans touts her new project as “very relatable” to everybody who has been in a relationship and understands the ebbs and flows that come with mastering love. Unbroke also presented Evans with a new opportunity: writing songs based on her experiences.
“Yeah, ’cause normally I would just choose and write songs that I thought were great songs, and all the songs on the new album are great, too. I’m not saying that,” she says. “But I’ve never written quite as much from a personal standpoint.”
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