Busting Myths About the Risks of “Chronic” Masturbation and More
Is There Such a Thing as Too Much Self-Pleasure? We Investigate
Masturbation is a good thing.
That’s right, I said it. And not only is it OK to indulge in self-pleasure, it’s also important to dispel many of the harmful myths and mis-truths out there that continue to haunt our understanding of healthy sexuality in general — and men’s sexual health in particular.
Indeed: movements such as NoFap, or even practices like “No Nut November” not only belittle men who engage in the physically and psychologically healthy practice of masturbation, but also spread dangerous misinformation about sex that is often rooted in misogyny, homophobia, antisemitism, religious extremism, and all kinds of regressive pseudoscience that is straight out of the 19th century.
If you’ve ever been shamed for masturbating, you’re definitely not alone.
While the sex-positivity movement has done wonders for normalizing female pleasure, in many respects men are still left out in the cold and subject to ridicule in mainstream media and pop culture for doing what is absolutely a natural, normal, healthy habit.
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To bust some ugly myths and put male masturbation into some much-needed sex-positive perspective, AskMen checked out some of the latest studies in sexual health, and also asked a couple of sexual wellness experts for their input on some of the most frequently asked questions about masturbation, porn, and more. Here’s what they had to say:
How Much Masturbation Is Normal for Guys?
In a word, there is no such thing as “normal.”
As world-renowned clinical psychologist and author Dr. David Ley says, “Different men masturbate at different frequencies, but around 10% of men masturbate every day, around 18% 2-3 times per week, whereas around 24% report not masturbating at all in the past year. So, honestly, almost any frequency of masturbation is ‘normal’ in that it fits on a normal frequency curve.”
No matter what your weekly average is — or whether it seems to fluctuate frequently — the good news is that you can feel free to keep engaging in your solo pleasure whenever you need to.
“As long as your masturbation is not interfering with your everyday life and you feel good about it, then you are fine,” says sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, MA, the resident sexpert for Lovers.
How Much Masturbating Is Too Much?
Yeah, but surely you can still masturbate too much, no? When should you be concerned?
Even when we are reassured that every individual is different, we nevertheless continue to be bombarded by sensationalist tales of people who blew up their lives or relationships due to “excessive” or “chronic” masturbation. But is masturbation really to blame?
“I know that everybody has these stories of people who masturbate 4 to 10 times a day, and can’t leave the house, lose relationships and jobs,” says Dr. Ley. “But, in every one of these cases I’ve ever seen, there’s an underlying cause, often obsessive-compulsive disorder or substance use such as methamphetamine.”
And not surprisingly, stopping masturbation does not make these underlying issues go away.
To be clear: the state of your mental and emotional health can impact solo (or partnered) sex just as much as your physical health. If you are experiencing any distress that you attribute to masturbation, consider seeking out a licensed therapist to help you identify any underlying issues that are affecting your impulse control and emotional regulation.
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Still worried about “coming too much” or “too often”? Then consider this: “The male sexual response typically involves a refractory period, a time after orgasm where the man generally can’t get an erection or achieve another orgasm,” says Dr. Ley. “The more orgasms in a day a male has, generally we see the refractory period extend, in an apparently built-in safety mechanism.”
Meaning, as long as you have enough lube, avoid chafing, and remember to hydrate, you can keep on masturbating to your heart’s content without worry, because your body will regulate you away from overdoing it.
Life happens — and because masturbation happens in the broader context of your life, it follows that your masturbation habits are not occurring in a vacuum.
“Your habits may shift because of anything,” says Stewart. “Stress and moods, medications, if you’re having partnered sex more often, kids or other family members encroaching on your time and attention.”
Makes sense, right? If you’re going through a period of lowered libido, don’t beat yourself up — and also don’t feel bad about setting boundaries and finding creative ways to fit in some precious beat-off time.
Masturbation is continually proven to help relieve stress and tension; and according to a 2019 study, the combination of hormones and neurotransmitters released by an orgasm can even help you fall asleep easier.
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On another note, “masturbation frequency in men appears to fluctuate in response to frequency of partnered sex,” says Dr. Ley.
In other words, if you’re in a relationship and having sex, you probably meet the majority of your needs with your partner. However, being in a relationship does not negate the need to masturbate, even if your frequency of doing so decreases.
Moreover, even though many people often speculate or worry that masturbation and coupled sex are “in competition,” or that indulging in one negates experience with the other, the reality is far more complex.
Herbenick’s 2022 study suggests that for some people masturbation can actually increase desire for, or pleasure from, partnered sex — and vice versa. Everyone is different, but there’s no reason to always assume solo and coupled pleasure work in opposition to each other.
Lastly, one fascinating thing that people maybe don’t realize is that men are basically creatures of habit when it comes to how they masturbate.
Assuming no illness or injury, Dr. Ley says, “in general, men tend to masturbate the same way, in the same manner and style, across their lifespans.”
So, if you have a “tried and true” masturbation technique or masturbatory fantasy that always delivers, rock on with confidence!
Hopefully no one alive right now still believes that masturbation will cause hairy palms or blindness, as old-fashioned sex myths used to have it — but unfortunately due to online NoFap groups, anti-porn activists, and other people with sex-negative agendas, two beliefs continue to prevail: that masturbating will ultimately lead to impotence, and/or the inability for a man to enjoy sex with other people.
Happily, neither of these things are true — and science backs it up.
David Rowland’s 2021 study compared sexual responsiveness during masturbation vs. partnered sex in a multinational sample of 4,209 men. The outcome showed that men are far less likely to experience sexual dysfunction during masturbation, as opposed to during partnered sex for all three sexual problems the study assessed (erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and delayed ejaculation).
Dr. Ley suspects that these results in the partnered sex group are due to potential “anxiety” and/or “needing to focus on your partner.” This makes sense if you consider how much effort generally goes into partnered sex versus just focusing on your own needs and pleasure during masturbation.
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However, masturbation itself is not the issue; in fact, Rowland’s research suggests that “understanding a man’s response potential during masturbation may be important to improving sexual response during partnered sex.”
In general, masturbation does your body good.
“Some research suggests it improves immune functioning, it is healthy for the prostate, and appears to increase, not decrease, a man’s testosterone levels,” says Dr. Ley. Hence, all those “stories” floating around the internet claiming that men “drain their lifeforce” or “lower their fertility” when they masturbate are fiction.
They may be misinterpreting post-orgasm relaxation, which is a real (and temporary) phenomenon as something more sinister.
Moreover, The Harvard Ejaculation Study found that “men who ejaculated 21 or more times a month enjoyed a 31% lower risk of prostate cancer. And the results held up to rigorous statistical evaluation even after other lifestyle factors and the frequency of PSA testing were taken into account.”
Dr. Ley notes that “because very few men are having sex 21 times a month, masturbation is the best way to exercise your prostate!”
We covered much of this concern above, but as Stewart points out: “Everybody is different and has different sensitivities, so it’s important to understand your body and what you like and what you need.”
To this end, there is one important physiological issue here that you should be aware of.
According to Dr. Ley: “Some men who squeeze their penis too tightly during masturbation can find it very difficult to achieve orgasm in a partner’s body, because the stimulation is not intense enough.”
If this sounds like you, Dr. Ley suggests “the treatment is for the men to change their masturbation style, and train their body to respond to less intense, softer stimulation.”
And on the subject of friction: be kind to your penis. Use lube. Follow the instructions for proper care and use of any pleasure products. It is possible to cause injury or breakage to the penis — usually this happens during penetrative partnered sex, but either way, you don’t want to be “that guy” in the Emergency Room.
Otherwise, just relax and let the good times roll, because “in general, people who masturbate more are people who have and enjoy sex more — that’s typically why they are masturbating,” says Dr. Ley.
What if your masturbation habits (or certain sexual fantasies that arise when you masturbate) are causing you to feel anxious or guilty?
According to Stewart, “If your masturbation habits are causing anxiety, guilt, stress, or shame, you probably should talk with a professional about it, preferably a therapist, so that they are able to help you figure out what’s happening for you.”