Living Up To The Other Person’s Estimation 2025

One of the reasons I’m posting stories lately is to recall a time when people interacted in ways that were fun, light, deep, and surprising. I feel this is real life, as opposed to the awful way people treat each other these days. I’m hoping the stories inspire you to open up to the good that’s possible when you interact with other people.

On the other side of the spectrum, I’m surprised I’ve never written about this before: how you can interact with a shadowy person and find yourself degraded, if not utterly rotting on the vine, if you spend time with them or invest in their way of being. There has got to be a word or phrase to describe this behavior, but I can’t think of it to save my life. Thanks, Neptoon.

On one side of the equation, you have a bean-counter type person. This made me think of “transactional relationships,” but when I tried to verify this term, I couldn’t. Thanks, degraded internet!

Anyway, one of the partners in this type of interaction is always watching, always weighing, always estimating your value or lack thereof.

It makes me think of a kid with marbles or maybe stars, which he/she can award or take back, based on your last movement or remark. You’re to be trained by their signaling approval or disapproval.

This kind of person often uses money to gift or not to gift—sort of like a parent. “Put the words I want to hear in your mouth, and I’ll send you a check. Be yourself? No check for you!”

It’s bewildering for a person with a strong personality. A person is grooming you to be what they might like or accept. How? Why?

Is the end goal that you become an extension of this other person? How? Why?

Three good beans today, Elsa, but four bad. Whack!

It’s hard for a person like me because I have Libra in my chart, and I genuinely care to please people…but not like this!

How does a person come to believe they are the arbiter of another person’s worth?

Here’s the extreme version of this. I hope someone besides me thinks this is funny!

Is there a name for this? How do you deal with people who evaluate you, to death? What’s the astrology?